How A Toddler Is Like A Drunk Person
If you have ever been a parent to a toddler, then you know that some of their actions are pretty much the same as those of a drunk person. Okay, maybe not exactly the same, but pretty damn close and to the point where we don’t know which is worse! Those little tiny human beings do the craziest things and we can’t help but laugh at the similarities between their actions and a person that’s drunk off their ass.
Here are some hilarious ways why the two are so alike!
1. They can never keep their pants on
As toddlers learn to undress themselves, they always find a way to wiggle out of their pants. One minute they’re fully dressed, the next you’ll see them waddling by in a diaper. And then there are those who prefer to go commando once they learn that their diaper easily comes with a full pulls at the tabs. Drunks are the same. One minute they’re fully clothed and the next they’re super hot and stripping down to their undies. Guess pants are optional when you party with those two!
2. They can’t walk straight
Have you ever seen a toddler trying to walk? It’s hilarious because they always zigzag around the room and stumble. The same goes for a drunk. It’s as if they share the same stagger that causes them to stumble and fall with every step they take.
3. Crying for no reason
One minute they’re super happy and then a few seconds later, out of nowhere, they both start bawling uncontrollably. It’s as if they’re Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde with the way their mood changes. Just looking at them the wrong way will send them bursting into tears.
4. They make a huge mess…
Don’t expect anything to stay neat and organized with either around! Everything nice will be ruined, which is why you’ll have to hide the good China and any other valuables. Toddlers and drunks are very sneaky beings and are great at secretly taking things like your tablets or smartphones. Oh, and good luck having them work when you get them back!
5. …Then get pissed off when you clean it
Picking up after both a drunk and a toddler is super exhausting. They like to be left in their filth, spit, vomit and other bodily fluids they release. So when you try and clean them up, they get super pissed off and start throwing tantrums.
6. They’re both super loud
A toddler is super rambunctious and loud, with no idea of how to control their volume. The same goes for a drunk person. Everything they say is loud as if they have a built-in megaphone.
7. You can never understand what they’re saying
Not only are they loud, but you can also never figure out what either are trying to say! They both mumble things in their made up language that only they seem to understand. And then they get mad at you when you can’t figure it out.